My journey with my twin flame/soulmate (Part 3) — finally kicking the toxic away, discovering the dynamic and wait, what?!
Previously… Click here to read the part 1 and part 2
I want to say that I received MANY messages of people wanting help about their journeys and I’m very happy to help. Contact me on Twitter, Instagram or on this form. I will try to help you!
Now, before starting another chapter of my story, I’m feeling the necessity to talk with some flames/mates that are passing through difficult times right now.
This is for BOTH of people involved on the dynamic (chaser or runner):
The connection of flames/mates is for you to HEAL YOURSELF. THE UNION IS CONSEQUENCE. So, focus on yourself, no matter if you’re chasing or if your running from your connection with your flame/mate/whatever you call it. The connection brings to you WHAT YOU MUST HEAL ON YOURSELF. Example: insecurities with your body, insecurities about be opened to love, about trying to control things, self-esteem, confidence, etc.
Let me give an example: I, Bruna, had insecurities with my body (I suffered bullying for years because of it). When First asked me to go to his house (yes, this happened and you know for what — kiss and make other things hahaha), I denied, because of my insecurities. Despite I was DESPERATE to have that with him, I felt insecure. And I didn’t talk to him about it, so, he also felt insecure, felt that I rejected him.
See how this is a “cycle”?
So, AGAIN, focus on yourself.
Here I bring some tips that helped me on this self-love journey.
Also, be more connected with spirituality. Meditation, prayers, this ALL HELPS! Not necessary a religion, but be more connected with spirituality.
Maybe you’re asking yourself now: “Bruna, but this pain I’m feeling, it’s so, so, so intense! I don’t see hope in the end.”. Believe me, I understand you and I know how that hurts so much. And I have a tip for you.
Sometimes, painful times happens for you and your flame/mate to evolve. If you’re here reading this and you’re passing through hard times, think that you’re not alone. You have a friend in me that truly understand what you’re feeling and wants to help you on this journey. You’re not crazy for feeling what you feel.
Wait till I tell you the story of my ‘Tower’. That basically destroyed me. But, after that moment, my mind finally changed and I reached the energy of the Empress.
And, to finish: It’s good to understand the concept, but, YOU MUST LIVE IT! Be brave to face the hard times and enjoy the great moments of this journey. Ups and downs are part of life. But WE CAN DO IT! WE ARE ENOUGH, WE ARE LOVED, WE ARE BRAVE! WE ARE THE MVP’S!
Now, 1,2, 3, LET’S GO, B….!
(Part 3) — kicking the toxic away FOR EVER, discovering the dynamic and wait, what?!
Kicking forever the a….!
It’s not easy to get over a toxic relationship. SPECIALLY if the other person doesn’t want to give up. This other person will insist, will force and will try to convince you with words like: “don’t leave me, I’m the right person for you and blablablabla”. And when you don’t have self-esteem, think you don’t deserve your flame/mate (and try to forget it at any costs), when you are afraid to deal with your own insecurities, it’s far more difficult. That’s what happened with me.
In my case, the “Unemployed” did something CREEPY.
REALLY
CREEPY.
He moved to a house on MY STREET. Yes, for more or less four months, he became a stalker (not violent, but very, VERY inconvenient).
Constantly, the ‘Unemployed’ went to my house and my mother (that initially liked him) received him many times to lunch and visit (my father never liked him — what a miracle, because I didn’t use to have, on that time, a good relationship with my father). But, after a while, my mom also “woke up” about him (oh, and about family, I will tell you something about that on the next article).
He begged me so many times and once, when I decided to go out with him to have a CONVERSATION, he tried to kiss me (using the force). I almost kicked his balls, but he left me. And after this day, he finally left me alone me for once and for ever.
But… he left scars. My insecurities raised. My fears. And impacted me on times where I felt so, so needy and lonely that I tried desperately to connect with someone (not my flame) and I tried so many dating apps… that only worked once and not for “dating seriously”. And, well, I wasn’t very confident to try with friends in common. So, a mess!
Discovering the dynamic
Well, after more or less ONE YEAR AND A HALF without any conversation with First, our friends in common paved the way for us to talk again (not the same way as before, but, paved).
And the feeling that I thought it was asleep, came back with the whole force. And I asked myself: why?
My intuition was strong. We have something special, but what? Then, one day, while I was searching about what it could be, I discovered about the dynamic of twin flames (some call as soulmates, others as mirror souls, etc.).
AND SUDDENLY, EVERYTHING FINALLY MADE SENSE! I WASN’T CRAZY. I WAS LIVING SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
Well, but discover the dynamic is ONE THING. Living and UNDERSTANDING that is different. There are SO MANY THINGS to process. And, for the head of a 21-year old girl on that time (for any age is difficult, but is even harder to process that so young), it was a lot. I entered on a “negation mode” (I was very, very rational, despite connected with spirituality — but not that much spiritual). I was scared (because it is scaring AS HELL) and I didn’t have, for a period of time, people that could understand what was happening in my head and in my heart. My friends didn’t help, my family neither… so, I was alone and lost. Totally lost. And anxious, trying to fix everything, impatient, etc.
What took me to THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY DYNAMIC. EVER.
THE BIGGEST OF MY MISTAKES ON THIS DYNAMIC: NOT LOVING MYSELF SOONER.
My self-steem was so, so, soooo low that took YEARS, YEARS, to be confident with myself. If I had that feeling before, I wouldn’t pass through some moments I passed. Only recently, after two years of therapy, meditation and more connection with spirituality, that I truly started to love myself. So, if you want to get your union faster, work on yourself. Concentrate on your projects, on accept your feelings for yourself and your flame/mate. And pray for both of you.
But while one is single, the other… is faking he is not single?
We were talking again (step by step) and, somehow, I felt hope that maybe we would have another opportunity to be friends again. And more, if possible.
Buuuut…
At a party of the people from my classroom, he appeared with a “girlfriend”… THAT LOOKED A LOT LIKE ME.
I wanted to die when I saw him hugging her, despite I couldn’t say anything, because I had a boyfriend that kissed me in front of him. I faked as much as possible that I didn’t care, however, I cared A LOT.
But… he acted more as a “friend” than as a boyfriend with her, specially when he was far away from that girl.
He sat on my lap during a game (almost killing me because he is too heavy for my lap hahaha) and when he was with his friends, he looked at me like he was going to eat me up.
I didn’t want to discover more about the “girlfriend” because that was the final semester of college (I was too busy with the final project). I thought: well, after this, we will barely see each other and I will forget him, definetely!
Right?
Right?
Errr… NOPE!
I didn’t know at that time, but…
The destiny would have a huge suprise for me months after my graduation.
I started to work on a local web radio.
And two months later…
HE WENT TO WORK THERE ALSO!
More details of this crazy story (that maybe it could be solved with a conversation, but we were too coward and immature for it), on the next chapter.
About contents of twin flames:
The contents about twin flames/soulmates/mirror souls/whatever ARE NOT UNANIMOUS. The theme is really, really complex and there are many, many discussions about it. Unfortunately, during this time, I found many contents that were confusing and talking about bad, bad things. Some people alerted me about part of that recently (people using the dynamic to explore others and to spread misinformation about it). So, here, I want to bring my experience to help you, as the way I was helped.
It’s in Portuguese (because I’m from Brazil), but definetely, the contents of Chamas Gêmeas BR helped me A LOT. Their materials (free and paid ones — meditations, classes, e-books and other things) were very, very good for me. They ALWAYS, ALWAYS reinforced the importance of loving yourself UNCONDITIONALLY. The union is consequence, AGAIN.
In English, I found recently the contents of Elara Gemini and Rebecca Henry that I liked a lot.
Some mystic tools like tarot, astral maps (and synastry) can help you a lot. But your intuition is the most powerful tool of all.
