My journey with my twin flame/soulmate (Part 1): the meeting, the chemistry and how the things got really f… up!
It’s a LONG STORY. REALLY LONG. Brace yourself! If necessary, save it to read calmly later. I will do in parts. BUT PLEEEEEEEASE, READ EVERYTHING, ALL THE PARTS!
(Before you ask, my therapy is on day!).
1, 2, 3, let’s go!
PART 1 — THE MEETING, THE CHEMISTRY AND HOW THE THINGS GOT REALLY F… UP!
The meeting
It all started on college, February 2015. I was 18. I entered one week later than my other colleagues, because I received a full scholarship to study there.
The first time that he saw me, without even knowing my name, he kissed me on the cheek as if he was intimate. I was like: what the hell did just happen? But it wasn’t bad.
Since that day, we started to talk. And even we were so different in personality and appereance, we were totally look alike in dreams, ideas, tastes and affinities. He is a very tall guy, with dark hair, dark brown eyes with his glasses (I LOVE NERDS hahaha), a light sun skin and perfect lips and smile. He is strong, but not that “strong guy of gym”, with a “mid-size body” (not really mid, he could be a refrigerator, large shoulders). Shy, with a low voice, calm and reflective of everything. On that time, he was 19.
Me, the opposite. The not so short girl with blonde hair, dark brown eyes, light skin, a curvy mid-size woman, very loud, talkative, funny and crazy. A girl full of dreams. But, also, full of traumas.
When I met him, I was collecting my pieces from the ground after I was cheated by my 2-year boyfriend (he cheated me with another guy). I was closed to love someone else in any ways (or “fleeing”, which means, kiss and make up not reeeally compromising —VERY COMMON here in Brasil, it’s cultural! — or in a serious relationship). I was too hurt to try again.
Getting close and falling in love
We started a friendship that grew up fast and we became very, very close friends. We used to walk together everywhere, too much hugs, smiles, talk in and out of the college EVERY SINGLE DAY, coincidentally matching clothes MANY TIMES, doing the same movements and actions (once, we both had our hair done on the same weekend, people thought we were freak haha). Mirroring totally!
So, it wasn’t surprising that after a while, people of the college (including professors) were thinking that we were dating, what wasn’t true. And, as a good journalist, I used to say: no, the rumours are not true! But it seems he missed his classes, because not only he didn’t stop the rumours, but he helped to spread the fake news to EVERYONE! I was “pissed” (not reeeeeally), but I didn’t want to give him hope, because “I wasn’t in love with him, I don’t want to hurt his feelings if he really have them for me”. Spoiler: I was and I didn’t realize till one day, when everything changed.
To “clarify anything”, I decided to ask him to go with me to watch a movie on cinema (GREAT IDEA, BRUNA! IT WILL WORK! 👍). We walked from the college to the mall where the cinema was. And it was during that walk, after we talked a lot about our personal stories and other topics, that I realized: oh, s…! I love him. On that chaotic “date”, that we didn’t kiss (and crazy things happened, for example, when we were going to kiss, THE SCREEN OF THE CINEMA ROOM FROZE AND PEOPLE STARTED TO FIGHT, BREAKING OUR MOOD), he said to me, smiling: “I will choose my wife very well”. Right in front of a church. WHAT. THE. F???
And when this happened I got paralized. What will I do now? I don’t want to ruin our friendship! I don’t wanna lose what we have. What if we date and it doesn’t work well? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
His friends used to say to me: “he truly likes you, wants something with you, but he is too afraid to talk”. And I was like: I want to hear that from him to believe it. But he simply didn’t know how to do it (AND ME NEITHER, EVEN THOUGH WE WERE STUDYING JOURNALISM!). I needed words of affirmation from him, I wanted to hear: I want you, I love you and these things. But mostly of his actions were saying it. And oooooh, those actions!
While he was hugging me, the world used to STOP. While he was holding my hands, I USED TO FEEL LIKE I WAS IN HEAVEN! My heart almost stopped, my breath became heavy. It simply felt RIGHT. Totally right, we are meant to be (people called us as soulmates!). He was a gentleman with me. He is PERFECT! He is THE ONE I’ve been waiting for him my whole life. AND GUUUUUUURL, THE CHEMISTRY! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
With a simple touch, I WAS ON FIREEEEEEEE! Once he carried me and he touched me perfectly, even though that NEVER HAPPENED before. I started to have dreams with him that felt SO REAL, but SO REAL that drove me crazy (including the… hot ones! hahaha). Oh, AND HE WAS JEAAAALOUS! I was also, VERY, but he was MORE. It was clear to EVERYONE that we were totally insane for each other.
I was seeing his name EVERYWHERE, seeing people that looked like him frequently, smelling his perfume from NOWHERE, like the destiny was RUBBING THIS S… ON MY FACE TO WAKE UP!
But WHY are we afraid if it feels SO GOOD? The answer is: TRAUMAS.
My fears, traumas and mistakes
I wasn’t lucky in love. Never been the “desired one”. I was the last one from my group of friends to been kissed. Suffered bullying my whole life because of my body, my personality and, on that time, got cheated from my longest-term boyfriend. I was a woman with low self-steem, afraid of loving someone SO, SO, SOOOOO BADLY and thinking: he will have a better girl, he deserves more.
And that was my first mistake and one of my HUGE MISTAKES: not talking openly about what I was feeling for him. With this lack of action (from BOTH parts), we lost EVERYTHING, INCLUDING THE FRIENDSHIP (you will see it later)! Probably if WE BOTH had the courage to have an OPEN conversation, talking freely about what we were TRULY FEELING, things could’ve been different. Talking about our fears, why we were afraid and how we could deal with that.
We were having that insane “tension” that EVERYONE realized and we really wanted to kiss each other (WE TRIED MANY TIMES, I SWEAR TO GOD). But, SIMPLY DIDN’T HAPPENED! If it wasn’t him stopping, it was me or anything/anyone else interrupting. Why? Again, the traumas. We had very similar ones: being cheated, some problems with family, bullying, ADHD, anxiety, depression… (fun fact: I discovered my ADHD with his help).
Months passed and things didn’t moved on. I became more and more impatient, tired and pissed off. So, I was like: “well, it seems nothing will happen. I will move on. I’m sure dating someone else will make me forget him”.
AND THAT WAS MY SECOND BIG MISTAKE, BIG, HUGE: DON’T THINK THAT DATING SOMEONE ELSE WILL MAKE YOU FORGET.
YOU. WILL. NOT!
One moment or another, no matter how much time passes (days, weeks, even YEARS, believe me), the destiny will rub the things again on your face till you really have a proper solution, after having an honest conversation with that person. IT WILL ALWAYS COME BACK!
The first plot-twist: A “not so secret kiss” on a festival of electronic music.
I went out with some friends to an electronic music festival. 20K OF PEOPLE IN ONE PLACE! (keep this information fresh with you).
In the middle of the loud music, lights, fire, smoke and everything you can imagine (no, I don’t do illegal drugs), a cute guy offered me some water.
He was almost as tall as me, blonde, strong, also brown eyes and light skin. Basically, almost totally different from HIM. Except for… THE NAME.
BUT WAIT! It’s not the only coincidence…
We talked with each other, he flirted with me a bit and after some insistance, I decided to give a chance and kiss him. Not gonna lie, IT WAS AMAZIIIING! And I thought: finally, I will move on.
But destiny said: NO, B…!
Why?
Because both of them had A FRIEND IN COMMON.
And the friend… was my colleague at college.
Yes.
TWENTY THOUSAND PEOPLE ON A FESTIVAL AND I KISSED THAT SPECIFICALLY GUY.
So… guess what happened?
Dearest gentle reader, we have a juicy gossip to share! After waiting a lot for a move from Lord First, Lady Bruna Rezende simply gave up of him and was seen in a scandalous situation with Lord Second! They were caught kissing the whole night during a music festival and he told what happened to a friend in common. Now the news are spreading like fire on the college, making Lord First feeling like a clown, because his friends are mocking him. This author thinks that this story will have dramatic moves on the next days.
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? THE FIRST WILL DO SOMETHING AGAINST THE SECOND? DID BRUNA AND THE FIRST WILL FINALLY TALK?
Read it on the second part HERE!
